Valueless Blog #4 – I am nothing if I am not predictable.


“This is just to say that I am predictable – but, you knew that, didn’t you? You know exactly what I am going to say and do upon any given occasion. It does take some of the worry out of life. It also inevitably leads to ‘no surprises’.

if you knew me, or know me, at all; you would know that my every response to a given phrase or TV advert can be relied upon to be consistently identical.

“Green!” I will shout at the box in the corner. I know that the lady’s favourite colour is red; but,  I insist on seeing the lack of humour in my ‘call’ as being funny.

if you know what I am on about (or even which planet I am from) then you get brownie points and a chocolate fudge cake surprise (no chocolate!) as reward.

It helps to think laterally, or literally not to think at all.

This has been a rather random blog post brought to you by me instead of something of true worth.

As is usual in these cases, I apologise to you, dear reader, for wasting your time, and will refund you 10’6 in old money upon production of a valid recipe.




  1. 4 (1 oz.) squares unsweetened chocolate
    2/3 c. plus 2 tbsp. water, divided
    1 3/4 c. sugar, divided
    1 (8 oz.) pkg. cream cheese, softened
    1/2 c. plus 2 tbsp. Crisco shortening, divided
    1 (14 oz.) can Eagle Brand sweetened condensed milk (not evaporated milk)
    4 eggs, divided
    4 tsp. vanilla, divided
    1 2/3 c. all-purpose flour
    1 tsp. baking powder
    1/2 tsp. baking soda
    1/2 tsp. salt
    3/4 c. milk
    Fudge Frosting
    Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In small saucepan, over low heat, melt chocolate in 2/3 cup water; stir. Add 1/2 cup sugar; cook and stir until smooth, about 2 minutes. Cool. In small bowl, beat cheese and 2 tablespoons shortening until fluffy. Gradually beat in sweetened condensed milk until smooth. Beat in 1 egg, 2 tablespoons water and 2 teaspoons vanilla. In large bowl, beat remaining 1 1/4 cups sugar and 1/2 cup shortening until fluffy. Add remaining 3 eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. In medium bowl, combine flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt; add to batter alternately with milk, beating well. Beat in chocolate mixture and remaining 2 teaspoons vanilla. Spread into 2 well-greased and floured 9-inch round layer cake pans. Spoon cheese mixture equally over cake batter. Bake for 40 minutes or until centers are set. Cool 15 minutes; remove from pans. Cool completely. Place 1 cake layer, top side up, on serving plate; spread top with Fudge Frosting. Top with second cake layer, top side up. Frost top and side.

    In large bowl, combine 6 cups confections’ sugar (sift is lumpy), 1/2 cup Crisco shortening, 4 (1 oz.) squares unsweetened chocolate, melted, 1/2 cup boiling water, 1 tablespoon light corn syrup and 2 teaspoons vanilla. Beat on low until blended. Beat on medium 1 minute.

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